Episode 47: Kids Acting Out? Follow this 9-Step Framework
Engaging, challenging, and empowering parents in raising well-rounded children through combining educational research to everyday life.
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on today’s episode…
If your kids are acting out at home, in school, or at Target, and you’re tired of being embarrassed or frustrated by their behaviors, then this 9-step framework is for you!
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If your kids are acting out at home, in school, or at Target, and you’re tired of being embarrassed or frustrated by their behaviors, then this 9-step framework is for you!
How do we handle kids acting out? By correcting the undesired behavior.
Here are some popular examples:
Kids asking for things in a whiny voice
Kids sneaking out of bed and coming to your bed
Kids hitting friends
Siblings arguing all the time
I have been using a strategy consistently with my kids for four years. Key word *consistently*
If you struggle with consistency in your parenting, check out my online course called Consistency at drkellycagle.com, where I teach you why consistency is important and simple strategies to apply it in your parenting.
Referring to above examples, what are the undesired behaviors to correct:
Whining– you can ask for things in a regular voice.
Crawling into your bed– you have your bed and I have my bed.
Aggression– you can express your needs with your words.
Arguments– respond with your words rather than react with your emotions
Strategy to correct undesired behavior: Time Out– not as a punishment but as a moment to think about their choices.
We have a choice to make when parenting in these moments– you are either going to explode and yell and spank your kids. Or you can say one sentence to them, “Go to time out.”
For this strategy to work, you have to be ready to use the strategy fully.
Before: 3 steps to prep for prior to the time out:
Choose a time out spot– make sure the spot is safe for the child. I also like it to be a place that’s quiet but not isolated from the rest of the family. For example: not with their nose against a wall. We do chairs at the dining room table.
Home: have a designated time out spot. The child goes to the same spot.
Other places: scope out a spot ahead of time.
Every single time– Be ready to send the child to time out every single time the undesired behavior arises. Even if it’s 50 times that day!
“Go to time out”-- The child must obey every time you ask them to “go to time out.”
During: 3 steps to apply during the time out:
Start & Finish– You decide when it starts and when it ends.
Reason– Talk to the child about why they went to time out.
Teach– Discuss the appropriate behavior.
After: 3 steps for after the time out:
Hug– Ask the child for a hug. Take advantage of every opportunity for the child to be embraced, even during discipline!
Questions?-- Ask the child if he/she has questions about why they went to timeout or the appropriate behavior.
Practice– Practice with the child the appropriate behavior! Help them come up with sentences and show you how to use kind hands.
Remember that consistency is super important for this strategy to work! Sign up for my Consistency online course if you need to explore this area before you even start using this strategy.
If you’re wishy washy with it, it will not work. However, if you follow through with the before, during, and after steps consistently, this framework will work to break free from and correct the undesired behaviors once and for all!
As always, I love hearing from you! Go to drkellycagle.com and fill out the contact me form or send me a DM on instagram @drkellycagle!
If you’re ready to get rid of undesired behaviors, then follow this 9-step framework today!
