3 Ways to Support Your Child as a Student
No more staying up late and sleeping in. The day has finally arrived!
Maybe you dropped off excited kids that barely gave you a good-bye hug. Excited for P.E.! Recess! Being with all their friends!
Maybe you dropped off an anxious teen. Unsure about a new campus. Making new friends. Being the new kid in town.
What happens when you drop your kiddos off at school?? You launch them into moments where you hope things you worked so hard to instill in them at home, speak loudly in their minds, skills like:
· Being respectful and using good manners with adults… if they add, “yes, ma’am and no, sir,” whew, bonus!!
· Being kind and seeing the quiet kids… the new kids… and welcome everyone
· Being attentive and trying their hardest
· Being their own advocate
· Being ethical in the classroom, using good judgment when choosing friends, and displaying the morals you have talked about since the day they were born
The list could go on and on.
Whether you are dropping off a kindergartener who has no idea what a full school day is like or what his/her favorite subject will be, or a senior who feels entitled and so ready to graduate and grow up. School is a season in their lives to LEARN. Not just academic stuff, but about life, social skills, emotional learning, and about their own needs.
There are three important things parents can do to support their kids during this season of learning, no matter their grade. When you work together with your child in these three areas, you are teaching them skills that will help their learning experiences more than you will ever realize. These areas will be deep rooted in their hearts and impact their school performance but also their confidence as a student and person.
1. Speak life into their identity.
I cannot help but be crushed at the increased “labels” being placed on children. Dyslexia, dysgraphia, ADHD, ADD, learning differences, SPED and 504 modifications…
These all have their place and, in many cases, are necessary. However, do your very best not to let these labels become part of your child’s IDENTITY. Who they believe they are… or what they believe they can't do.
When students are supported through accommodations, like seating arrangements, classroom pull-outs, or assignment modifications, school staff is after enhancing the child's learning journey. And parents can partner with that mission and ensure the child acknowledges the modifications as support rather than limitations. Otherwise, they will feel like they're different than the rest because they are getting different treatment than the other students.
By showering your kids with words of affirmation about who they are as students, you make a huge impact in their self-esteem.
2. Think about your definition of success.
How do you measure if your child is being successful or not? Is it by being a straight A student? Maintaining a certain GPA? Excelling on their standardized tests? Or by how they behave in the classroom?
So many parents have been prioritizing grades, extracurricular achievements, and sport performances at the sake of a child's mental health. When you add so much pressure on kids to perform, you are taking away their opportunities to just be kids.
Why rush them into adulthood?? Into the pressures of performance? Of a full, busy schedule?
Every day is a day you cannot get back with your child. Every day is a day your child is a day older. A day closer to adulthood. Do not rush their childhood.
Do not fill their schedules with unnecessary activities that may one day be meaningless. If they do not find joy in playing a certain sport, let them quit! They are not quitters. They just do not enjoy the sport maybe you enjoyed. Woopedie do.
They are their own person. We are raising little humans who, one day, will be big humans. Empower them by letting them make these choices.
In our house, success is defined by this question: “Did you do your best?” (on the assignment, the test, the game, etc).
If the answer is yes, then they are winners. Regardless of the outcome.
Want to explore this topic a bit deeper? Listen to this Parenting IQ podcast episode! It will open your eyes to more meaningful ways to define success.
3. Be present.
You may think, “I drop them off and pick them up every single day. I am a super present parent. Check!”
But are you truly present?
· Do you know who their best friend is? Better yet, do you know why that person is their best friend?
· Do you know what their favorite subject is? And why they like that subject so much?
· Have you asked who they eat lunch with? And why they enjoy eating with that group?
· Who is their favorite teacher? Why is that their favorite teacher? What characteristics do they like about him/her?
· What do they enjoy doing to recharge? Is it to play with friends? Or is it to listen to music on the couch?
· Do you create spaces where they can unplug, recharge, and fully be themselves?
Our children’s academic years give us AMAZING insight about our kids. Being present is not defined by dropping them off at school, with the brand name school supplies, shirts tucked in, and hair perfectly on point. These conversation starter cards give you 60 questions to initiate fantastic after school talks!
These are the years where our kids are learning big, life-changing things about themselves, like:
· “How can I express myself in healthy ways?” (Emotional intelligence)
· “What study habits work for me?” (Self-evaluation)
· “When should I answer a question or give someone a chance to?” (Self-control)
· “Who around me needs a friend?” (Interpersonal awareness)
· “How can I serve someone today?” (Servanthood)
· “How can I be my best self today?” (Intrapersonal awareness)
Take the time to guide them through these answers. Help them explore who they are, so they can fully be who they were created to be.
Speak life into their identity, be aware of how you are defining success, and be present.
Need resources to help you in these three areas? Check out my book suggestions for amazing books that have shaped my parenting, as well as these resources I created to engage, challenge, and empower you as a parent.
Your kids need YOU as their safe haven and to be the loudest voice of guidance and influence in their lives.
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HEY THERE! I’M DR. CAGLE… DO YOU NEED HELP WITH CREATING GREAT HABITS???
Parenting is hard work. It requires tons of boundaries, daily consistency, so much awareness, as well as lots of patience, grace, wisdom, and filters. Combine that hefty list with all of life’s demands and others’ voice may become louder than yours in your child’s life, increasing their anxiety, fears, and doubts.
Healthy parenting is about seeing yourself as your child’s #1 teacher, saying the right words (or nothing at all) at the right time, and having the right tools to be intentional and impactful. Guessing your way through life, which is what most parents do, is a recipe for failure, but following the lead of someone who has two decades of research-based information and fully understands the demands of parenthood is a recipe for a full life— for you and your child.
With a PhD in education, I’m here to teach you how to use daily moments are learning opportunities so you raise confident and competent lifelong learners that thrive in an ever-changing world.
Additionally, I offer workshops and keynotes on various topics to parents, educators, students, and business leaders— because the need to understand, support, and empower learners is everywhere.
Let’s get started with the next step to form habits and get your house HEALTHY!