A good friend of mine recently texted to brainstorm about where she should send her oldest son to school. He’s starting kindergarten next school year, and she’s trying to figure out where to send him.

It feels just like yesterday when I was in her shoes. Before Levi started kinder, I was pretty freaked out about finding the best school for him.

Should he attend one in the district I work in? If so, which one? (I talked to a bunch of my teacher friends who had children in elementary school to see how they liked the school their child attended).
Should he attend the school our home was zoned for? How were the ratings? What data is even included in that rating?
What about the new charter school in town?

I really had no idea.

In all honesty, I’ve been trying to define and explore what education is really about for quite some time as an educator. During my tenure as a public school teacher, I questioned a lot of the demands, expectations, and requirements placed on teachers. I always abided by what was delegated to me; but it didn’t mean I always agreed with it.

Regardless of how I felt as a professional in the field of education, now the matter was personal. It was about MY OWN SON.

So I started researching questions like:

Who even came up with the 8am-4pm school schedule?
Who decides what content is “necessary”? And now we also have to also ask “appropriate” to be taught in schools?
Where did state assessments come from?
What are the main differences between public and private schools? And what about charter schools?
What are my thoughts on homeschooling?
Oh wait, there’s unschooling too…
Why do students from certain countries completely outperform the general American student?

And my personal favorite:

What can I do to make sure my kids get the most out of their schooling experience?

In all of my research to find answers to the above questions, I’ve come to one conclusion:

The ideal academic setting– whether traditional public school, charter school, private school, University-Model® school, homeschool, etc.—is absolutely dependent upon the parents’ educational philosophy.

Let me break that down.

According to dictionary.com, the definition of philosophy is “a system of principles for guidance in practical affairs.” Now, place educational in front of that.

What is an educational system of principles that will guide your kids towards the academic progress, social engagement, and character development you desire (practical affairs)?

Ummm, I’ve never thought about it before… is the typical answer I get when I ask people about their educational philosophy.

Here are 5 questions to ask yourself as you think about your educational philosophy. These are not questions that should be answered quickly. Really think about them. Dig deep to remember your own school experiences that were very beneficial to you when you were a student and the ones you don’t want your child to experience. Things like:

What kind of curriculum do I want my child to learn from?

Is a faith-based curriculum really important for us?
What about history? During my doctorate, a classmate of mine was a huge advocate of urban education. I really valued his input about the lack of urban content in textbooks. He deeply valued this piece of history and was disheartened that it was often not found in the curriculum schools used.
Science is an easy content area to use to differentiate where you stand. Do you believe in evolution? Or creation? That alone can tremendously influence your preference.
2. What are some things my child could benefit from academically?
Smaller classrooms?
AP or dual credit course availability?
A STEM campus?
Fine arts academy
What are my thoughts on standardized tests?

3. What are some things my child could benefit from socially?
Big schools with competitive sports?
Smaller school environment?
An agricultural campus where kids will share similar interests?
4. How flexible is our schedule?
Was doing school at home during COVID a complete doozy or did I see my kid thrive as they became more responsible being in charge of their schoolwork?
Are there things I want my kids to learn that are not being taught in schools—could I homeschool?
Or, I really need my kids in school because I work full-time. A traditional school is by far the best option for all of us.
5. What are some character development traits I really think are important for my child?
How is the school’s leadership?
What kind of message are the leaders sending to the students?
What programs are offered at school—community engagement, sports, leadership opportunities, fine arts, etc.?

I also want to add a really important suggestion from Dave Ramsey: do not break the bank if you believe a private school would be a better option for your kid. Can you truly afford it? Or can you just make monthly payments? Maybe you have plenty of money, but it’s in your 401k account… Analyze your budget very carefully.

Bottom line is this: there is NO PERFECT SCHOOL. No home is perfect, no teacher is perfect, no student is perfect, no parent is perfect. So, expecting a school to be perfect is just unrealistic and, quite frankly, unfair.

Don’t go looking for perfection.

Begin by creating a list of things your family will benefit from. Once you have that list (answered the 5 questions above), then begin searching for the school that fits that list—your ideal school.

I can speak from experience that, after being disillusioned for a bit questioning the educational system as a whole, I found the ideal school for our family. It wouldn’t work for everybody. But that doesn’t matter because it’s what works for us. Some people question our method, the leadership, and the workload altogether.

However, the choice we made actually brought our family together. We are much happier and closer since making the switch. It doesn’t matter what others think or say.

Hopefully, you can also find the ideal school for your family.

Don’t be afraid of trying new things either.

Maybe you’re not in the same shoes as my friend with a brand new kindergartener. Maybe you have a high schooler and want to make sure he or she will be ready for college. Maybe you want more time with your kids and want to devote a year to homeschooling and being together (I actually have another friend doing this this year. And I’m loving watching their togetherness!!) Or maybe your kid is struggling to socially connect in their current school.

Look up what options are around you and give something new a shot! If the new school doesn’t work out or isn’t as great of a fit as you expected, then switch again!

I will also warn you here— don’t keep switching too much. Changing schools can be very stressful and create a lot of anxiety in kids. Kids also need stability, or they will have a hard time trusting that “this is it. I can really make friends here.”

So again, DO YOUR RESEARCH and find your ideal school. Don’t search for the perfect school. It doesn’t exist.

But, even if you decide not to search, maybe improve how you guys spend your time after school!

Think about this:

How long do we have together during the week?
How do we spend that time?
Do we all just sit in front of our phones, TV, video games?
Do we connect, share about our day, laugh together and cry?
Is homework a beating where we just end up yelling at each other to get through it?
Are we running around to and from practice every single night?
(If you have more than one kid) Are the siblings getting along? Do they get to play together after not seeing each other all day?

I have a great resource here to help you organize these answers and maximize your after school time together!

I told my friend all of these things during our conversation about her school search for her soon-to-be kindergartener. I also told her about the most important part (as I quote the text message I sent her):

“Essentially, an education can be received anywhere. A high school diploma is the same (mostly) from any school (some schools aren’t even accredited, which is a whole different discussion). But how involved parents stay during those schooling years… that part is truly priceless.”

You most likely had a birth plan when your kid was about to be born. So, consider your educational philosophy your “education plan.”

Call it whatever you want.

Dig deep and do your research.

Don’t just settle. Your kids are also watching you not settle to find and provide the best academic experience for him or her.

Show them how much you value their learning, and they’ll probably not want to let you down.

And, as always, I love hearing about your experiences! Comment below or shoot me an email at kellycagle@drkellycagle.com or contact me here!

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**HEY THERE! I’M DR. CAGLE… DO YOU NEED HELP WITH CREATING GREAT HABITS???**

Parenting is hard work. It requires tons of boundaries, daily consistency, so much awareness, as well as lots of patience, grace, wisdom, and filters. Combine that hefty list with all of life’s demands and others’ voice may become louder than yours in your child’s life, increasing their anxiety, fears, and doubts.
Healthy parenting is about seeing yourself as your child’s #1 teacher, saying the right words (or nothing at all) at the right time, and having the right tools to be intentional and impactful. Guessing your way through life, which is what most parents do, is a recipe for failure, but following the lead of someone who has two decades of research-based information and fully understands the demands of parenthood is a recipe for a full life— for you and your child.
With a PhD in education, I’m here to teach you how to use daily moments are learning opportunities so you raise confident and competent lifelong learners that thrive in an ever-changing world.
Additionally, I offer workshops and keynotes on various topics to parents, educators, students, and business leaders— because the need to understand, support, and empower learners is everywhere.

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