How To Teach Kids Productivity
Kids take foreverrrr to act on your request…They whine about allll that has to be done… And it’s like pulling teeth to finally get anything productive out of them.
The delaying… complaining… and taking way too long to get something completed can be so frustrating for parents, and lead them down a rabbit hole of, "how can I get my kids to have a better attitude to get things done?" "Is it anyone else's kids too or just mine?" "I hope they don't live in a dump when they grow up!"
Whether things need to be done for you to walk out the door in the morning, rooms needing to be cleaned, or homework having to be completed, kids’ productivity levels and skills deserve attention.
Something to keep at the forefront of your mind is that your child’s personality, emotions, and thought processing are still developing. So creating a safe space for them to learn who they are with your guidance is vital. A place where they are supported to explore their emotions. And a place where the outloud digestion of their thoughts is encouraged. Furthermore, it’s also important that you teach them how to be responsible as they navigate their intrapersonal awareness and growth. Safety, productivity, and responsibility are traits they will always need in their lives.
You want them to feel safe and seen because that increases their competence and confidence. You want them to be productive because you need things done and, most importantly, they need to know how to get things done. In addition to both of these, you are also teaching them to be responsible with their things, because after all, they are THEIR things.
Their room. Their clothes. Their homework. Their education. Eventually, they’ll have their house. Their career. Their family. Big responsibilities on their shoulders!
In the safety of their home, start equipping them with productivity habits that, in turn, are also shaping them into responsible humans.
There are various ways to teach your kids these things; however, there are two very practical ways to increase productivity in your kids and help you teach them that completing tasks isn't all that time consuming (and actually feels really great afterwards!). It doesn't matter if your child is two, twelve, or twenty, these two ways will help them complete tasks, develop great time management skills, and establish healthy productivity habits.
Create a List
Give your child instructions in lists and keep the list under 5 steps. Even if there are a lot more he/she needs to accomplish, only provide 5 things to do at a time.
Some kids will even need less items on their lists, depending on their age or personality. Certain tasks will also require clear specifications (like, homework or cleaning their messy room).
With tasks that can be more overwhelming, keep the list to 3 things. Or even just 1. The length of the list doesn’t matter. The important thing is that you expect your child to be responsible and obedient to your requests every time.
Why lists?
Let's think like a child for a moment.
Sandy is 8 years old and her room is a disaster. Her bed isn’t made, her barbie dolls are everywhere, her clothes are thrown on the floor, and her bookshelf is a mess. Actually, everything is a mess! Which request sounds less overwhelming, more appealing, and accomplishable?
Request 1: “Sandy, please clean up your room.”
Request 2: “Sandy, I need you to do 3 things please:
1. Make your bed
2. Put your clean clothes away
3. Put your dirty clothes in the laundry room”
Her entire room isn’t all tackled yet with the second request, but she was provided a plan of action in small steps. Little bits and pieces at a time. She also had clear expectations: bed made, and clothes put up.
Sandy knows her room is a mess, and she can easily become overwhelmed by the task at hand, making her whiny or emotional.
The parent should proceed with additional steps once Sandy completes the first 3 steps. (i.e., clean up barbies, organize bookshelves, etc.) But stick to specific tasks.2. Set a Timer
After giving specific instructions and setting clear expectations, set a time limit.
If they have their own watch, you can also give them ownership of their time by having them set their own timer to keep up with how much time is left.
A time limit reminds them to stay on task.
Setting time expectations is especially helpful for morning routines.
For example:
“Michael, please do 4 things:
Make your bed
Brush your teeth
Get dressed for school
Eat breakfast
You have 30 minutes to do these things because we need to leave for school at 7am.”
In this example, no specific time limit was assigned per task. And in some cases depending on the child, that might be necessary. Other times, a general time limit is relevant.
Countdowns may also be necessary. (“Michael, you have 10 minutes left.”) Using a timer will diminish the morning rush and yelling tremendously.
A time limit is also helpful with homework.
For example: “Andie, please complete your writing assignment for language arts in the next 20 minutes.”
If Andie’s mom asked her to “complete her homework” Andie might have gotten overwhelmed because there’s math and language arts and science and social studies. So many subjects! So much homework.
Instead, in this example, the request was very specific to which homework Andie should complete. After her writing assignment is completed, move on to another assignment.
The time strategy will vary for every kid. Some kids delay cleaning up toys, while others stay on task. Some kids get overwhelmed by math homework, while others thrive in math.
To each their own! But in each example, the parent sets clear expectations, which also equate to safety to the child by knowing what to expect and what is expected of them.
This pursuit of increased productivity and responsibility in your child will also increase your awareness of how your child needs to be instructed, disciplined, and held accountable in various scenarios.
The most important thing in this pursuit is that you stay consistent. Consistent with your instructions and consistent with your expectations of task completions.
It’s also essential that you have an idea of the consequences your child will face if he/she doesn’t meet the time limit you set for them.
A side note here: having consequences is different from threatening your child.
Think of the definitions of both of these words (according to dictionary.com):
Threat: “a declaration of an intention or determination to inflict punishment, injury, etc., in retaliation for, or conditionally upon, some action or course.
Consequence: the effect, result, or outcome of something occurring earlier. An act or instance of following something as an effect, result, or outcome.
The difference between the two? Threatening can be “all talk.” Consequence is the action or follow through of the “outcome” you decide on for your child.
Consequences also vary on your child, their age, and their interests. As long as it is a moment of discipline for them because they disobeyed, it can make your list of consequences to choose from.
Here are some ideas:
Loss of privileges:
Decreased screen time (or no screen time)
Take away a favorite toy
Have a reader? Limit their reading time
Take away car keys
Limit their time with friends
Take away headphones
Another way to imply consequences is by understanding what your child really needs in order to stay on task. Sometimes distractions are louder than the tasks in front of them (and us!). They need a different form of consequences. These seem like "consequences," but they end up helping everyone navigate moments a little better.
Examples:
If they are not abiding by your requests: send them to their room to read, draw, write, pray, think, play... it could be that they are overstimulated
If your mornings are chaotic and include too much screaming to get everyone out the door: wake them up earlier to have more time to get ready
If they didn't make the time you set for them and are pitching a fit: exercising (10 push ups/jumping jacks/sit ups) first. This is especially fun if you have a high energy and active kid. They love the challenge! Engaging the body also engages the brain, and they'll be able to think more clearly.
If they seem extra tired and cranky: send them to bed earlier. It could be that they need more sleep.
Maybe they need more time to get ready in the mornings because they like to move at a slower pace. Making this shift for them and making their mornings more enjoyable.
Maybe being in their rooms teaches them to value opportunities to breathe and unwind. Making this shift for them will help them learn to self-regulate
Maybe they have lots of energy and are wiggly while they’re trying to complete their homework. 10 pushups can help them burn some of that energy, and most importantly, engage their brain by moving their body.
You get the point. Every child has very different needs.
The important part is to teach them to respond to your requests in a timely manner.
Create precise lists and give instructions in steps. Give them time limits to complete assigned tasks.
And, as always, be consistent and know what consequence(s) will follow if tasks are not completed well or within the timeframe... making it a super safe environment for them.
Sounds very much like the real world… Expectations are placed on employees; and, if productivity is lacking, consequences follow.
Teach your kid how to be productive because essentially, you’re equipping them for life!
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HEY THERE! I’M DR. CAGLE… DO YOU NEED HELP WITH CREATING GREAT HABITS???
Parenting is hard work. It requires tons of boundaries, daily consistency, so much awareness, as well as lots of patience, grace, wisdom, and filters. Combine that hefty list with all of life’s demands and others’ voice may become louder than yours in your child’s life, increasing their anxiety, fears, and doubts.
Healthy parenting is about seeing yourself as your child’s #1 teacher, saying the right words (or nothing at all) at the right time, and having the right tools to be intentional and impactful. Guessing your way through life, which is what most parents do, is a recipe for failure, but following the lead of someone who has two decades of research-based information and fully understands the demands of parenthood is a recipe for a full life— for you and your child.
With a PhD in education, I’m here to teach you how to use daily moments are learning opportunities so you raise confident and competent lifelong learners that thrive in an ever-changing world.
Additionally, I offer workshops and keynotes on various topics to parents, educators, students, and business leaders— because the need to understand, support, and empower learners is everywhere.
